Spontaneous O'
by NoLove10
Summary: "I'd be a sex operator." Alex didn't think she was fitting for the job and Piper surprises both of them. One-shot.


It was the coldest day of the fall, thus far. The New York City wind blew their hair back as they made a run for the closest restaurant they could find in desperate need of warmth.

Whoever told them it'd be a fucking brilliant idea to go out without a jacket in this cold ass weather definitely hated them.

"I fucking hate New York!" Alex exclaimed, as she opened the door at Chez Valentine's Cuban Coffee.

Piper chuckled. "No, you don't." She said as she blew warm air in her hand and rubbed her palm together in an effort to warm up quickly. "You just hate the winter season and it's effect on late fall."

Chez Valentine's was a warm and cozy place. There wasn't that many people so for the most part, it was peaceful and quiet. Dim light illuminated the place giving it even more of a welcoming vibe.

A TV was on mute, screening some soap opera telenovela.

The couple gave it a glance as they made their way to an empty booth in the far corner of the little restaurant.

"Exactly why we should've gone to Tahiti." Alex complained. "We could've been laying naked on white sand, sipping cocktail drinks with umbrellas in them."

"True." Piper nodded.

Alex offered to fly them anywhere she'd like as a late birthday present because she still felt guilty for missing it over the summer. She was overseas on business but she went out of her way to make sure She had a wonderful day. Sending her on a scavenger hunt to her gifts, making sure she had the best customer services at any restaurants/clubs in the Upper West Side. Piper had a blast.

Alex was connected. How she owned a percentage of almost every restaurant/night club you could find in the Upper West Side of New York, she'll never know and she doesn't care.

She's just grateful.

And that's why, she turned down the trip for now and postponed it to some other time of the year.

"What's Thanksgiving or Christmas without snow and the magic?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "You're such a girl."

"Apologize!" Piper said offendedly.

What was so wrong about being a proud New Yorker? She loved New York during the holidays in the winter. Everything about December was amazing in New York during the winter. The tall Christmas trees at Central Park; the Christmas lights hanging everywhere, the huge statues of Santa Clause... The sales on those big, warm, fluffy sweaters. The parties' people throw... The shiny flakes of snow illuminating the streets ever so flawlessly on Christmas Eve?

What's not to love?

"The things I do for you, Piper Chapman."

Piper smiled as she leaned over the table and placed a chaste kiss on her girlfriend's pink lips.

"No complaining." She murmured.

She pulled away poking Alex's nose and winked.

"Can I at least get another kiss?" Alex asked.

"Be good and you just might get more than that."

Alex groaned. "I'm going on a strike!" She protested. "You cannot say stuff like that to when you know damn well you're on your period."

Piper smirked. "Kinda makes the waiting sweeter you, nymphomaniac."

Alex frowned. "What's wrong with liking sex, hunh?" She asked. "I'm not a sex addict!"

"Hey, it's fine. Calm down." Piper chuckled. "You like sex. There's nothing wrong with being an overly ridiculous sexual person."

The brunette knead her eyebrows together. "I very much dislike you right now." Fixing her glasses, she waved at a waitress in dark jeans and a yellow shirt across the room to come take their order. "I want coffee."

The waitress approached their table with a sweet smile on her face. Alex gave her a once over and nodded. She looked pretty.

Tan skin.

_Miracle—_ Alex thought.

The girl looked about eighteen or nineteen. Long lashes batted her piercing brown orbs; hair between dirty blonde and brown matched her perfect skin and brown eyes. Small nose sat beneath her eyes and she had beautiful glossed full lips.

_Pretty. Very pretty.  
><em>  
>"Can I get you ladies something?" She asked with a pen and a notepad ready in hand.<p>

"Yeah," Alex replied. "Can I get coffee? Dark— no cream, no sugar. And a slice of apple pie?"

In the spirit of Thanksgiving coming up, sure you'd think pumpkin pie would be her choice but Alex absolutely despises pumpkin pie.

"And for you?" The waitress turned her gaze to Piper.

"I'll have a Chai latte with extra foam- cream and sugar." She looked at Alex and shook her head.

Who drinks coffee with no cream or sugar?

"And a slice of apple pie, too with whip cream."

Oh what she can do to Alex while eating that pie with the whip cream? This is going to be fun.

"Anything else?"

"No. That'll be it. For now."

"Okay." The waitress nod and bowed respectfully before excusing herself. "Your order should be in, in a couple of minutes."

...

Their order did come a few minutes later. Alex moaned at the delicious taste of her coffee. It was some good coffee she had to admit. Black, strong and hot.

Piper watched with a look on her face as she took a sip of her latte.

"What?" Alex asked.

"You're disgusting but it's kinda cute." Piper replied.

Alex laughed.

"I still don't understand how you can drink coffee without cream or sugar."

_Yet you're the one with a temper._ Alex wanted to say.

"Don't knock it til' you try it, Blondie."

"Never." Piper mouthed. "It's fucking disgusting."

Alex shrugged. There was no point in arguing. She wasn't gonna win this one.

"Whatever, Elizabeth."

Piper winced. The use of her middle name was very unnecessary at the moment. But... Whatever.

"Entertain me with something." She begged.

"Like what?" Alex asked, finally picking up her fork and taking a bite of her warm, delicious apple pie.

"Anything." Piper replied. She scooped some whip cream from the top of her pie with her index finger and brought it to her lips, ever so slowly, licking her lips and humming as she watched Alex's cheeks turn a bright shade of pink.

"Stop that!" Alex said, almost annoyed.

She switched off their plates. Piper doesn't get to tease her and give her ideas only to leave her horny as fuck.

God knows she needed the release and the enjoyment of giving her pleasure back in return.

"Give it back." Piper laughed, reaching across the table for her plate.

Alex slapped her hand away. "I'll spit in it." She threatened.

Piper looked amused. "Go ahead." She dared. "It's nothing we haven't shared before."

"Fuck, Piper!" Alex cursed under her breath. Her blood boiling with sexual frustration. "One more comment like that and I'll fuck you on your period. I don't care."

"That's bound to be messy." Piper warned.

"Piper—"

The blonde laughed again. "Okay fine. Let's be serious."

"Okay." Alex agreed.

"If you could do whatever you want or be whatever/whoever you wanted for one night, what would it be?" Piper asked.

"Oh, that's easy." Alex replied.

Piper raised her eyebrows. "Enlighten me."

"I'd smoke weed and get high with Jesus."

Piper slapped her hand playfully. "Be serious."

Alex chuckled. "What? I'm being serious." She said. "I do wanna meet Jesus. See if he's really real."

"You're not even religious." Piper noted.

"So?" Alex chewed on a bite of pie. "I still want to _meet him_ or whoever the hell _it_ is."

Piper rolled her eyes. "Something more reasonable, Alex."

Alex thought hard. Her lips pursing in that cute way Piper likes whenever she's concentrating on something.

"I think I could pull being a badass, invincible superhero character." She finally replied. "Beating up scumbags alongside batman…"

"_Hmmm_," Piper toyed with the idea. Somehow, she can actually picture that happening. Alex in a latex cat suit with some banging platform suede ankle heels boots and her hair in a ponytail... All dark and mysterious.

_Uh!_

Damn she's getting so turned on just thinking about it. The idea makes good for role-playing.

She now definitely knows what to get both Alex and herself for Christmas.

"That sounds kind of hot." Piper admitted.

"It does, doesn't it?" Alex agreed. "What about you? What would you do or be?"

"I'd be a sex operator." Piper replied single-mindedly. She didn't even have to give it a thought.

Alex chocked on a sip of coffee. "You're doing it again!"

"No," Piper said. "I'm being so serious."

Alex settled her cup on the table with a dubious expression on her face. "You a sex operator? Nah."

"Really?" Piper said with crossed arms over her chest. "Why not me?"

Alex shrugged. "I don't know." She replied. "Not that I'm against it, though. You just look too innocent for it. I just don't see it in you."

Piper smirked. "You and me both know I'm anything _but_ innocent."

"True." Alex grin. "Still can't quite picture you being on a _1-800-call-for-mind-fucking-fantasy_ hotline."

That sounded like a challenge.

"Okay." Piper smiled. _"Try me."_ She dared.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah." Piper nodded.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No. Play along. Come on. Call, damn it."

"Okay." Alex said.

The brunette watched with amusement as Piper raked her fingers through her blonde locks then applied some pink glossy lipstick on her already pink lips.

"Call."

Alex reached for her phone in the pocket of her jacket. Thumbing in her pass code, she dialed Piper's number.

This is fucking ridiculous!

_Ring... Ring... Ring..._

Finally the call came through and Piper cleared her throat before accepting the call.

In the sexiest tone Alex's ever heard her spoke through, she answered.

…

_"Hi, my name's Barbie, what's yours?"  
><em>  
>"Barbie?" Alex mouthed. "You've gotta be fucking kidding me."<p>

But goddamn it, it sounded so sexy!

Maintaining eye contact, Alex played along.

_"My name's Kitty."  
><em>  
>Jesus!<p>

Piper smiled.

_Barbie and Kitty_. Sounds like a great lesbian porn. She's digging this.

"Mhmm, Kitty. You have a very- very smokey sexy voice."

Alex's jaw dropped. Oddly, she didn't sound irritating. She sounded like _kinky-hot-scream-your-fucking-lungs-off-fucking._

Too much!

_"Let me guess, you're a brunette?"_

_"That'd be right."_

_"Hm. So sexy. Where are you calling from, Kitty?"_

_"My hotel room."_

_"Are you alone?"_

_"No. My bitch of a girlfriend is in the bathroom refusing to talk to me."_

_"Oh? Well you're a bad girl aren't you, Kitty? Perhaps you should get spanked really hard for calling this line."_

_"Small price to pay to hear a voice as sexy as yours."_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Kitty?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Would you like to know what I look like?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Mhmm. I think you'll be pleased. I've got really long blonde hair. Deep— dark blue-gray eyes, kinda like the ocean on a perfect afternoon. I'm 5'6 and my best features are my big, big breasts."_

_"How big, Barbie?"_

_"40 double D's."_

Alex pulled the phone away from her ears. She wanted Piper back for a second.

"_40 double D's?_" She questioned.

"You're breaking character." Piper replied.

Alex put the phone back to her ears.

…

"You're still here, Kitty-Kitty?"

"Yes. Your breasts— they sounds really nice. But I'm a lips type of gal. So to speak."

"Uh lips." A moan. "Mines are full, plump and pink. Always hot and wet. They happen to be very talented. Also one of my best features."

"Yeah?"

"Easily. Do you touch yourself Kitty?"

"No."

"That's alright. There's a first for everything, sweetheart."

"Sure."

"Tell me what you're wearing, Kitty."

"Just an oversized Nirvana shirt."

"Oh, you naughty Kitty. No panties?"

"Nope. All bare."

"That's how I like it."

"What kind of fantasies suits you best, Barbie?"

"Your kind of fantasies, love. I'll be whatever you desire. All yours. No restraint."

"God, Barbie. Don't drive me insane like that. Tell me what you're wearing."

"Absolutely nothing love. Tell me you're wet right now."

"I am, Barbie. I'm so wet it aches."

"Oh? Kitty love. I want to kiss my way down your body. I want to work those talented lips across your skin feel your wetness with my very long tender fingers. I wanna do unspeakable things to your body."

"Why don't you then?"

"You're naughtier than I thought Kitty."

"Is that a good thing?"

"Most definitely. What do you say; your girlfriend walks in on us? Give her a taste of her medicine for ignoring your needs."

"Sounds great."

"God Kitty, baby. You sound so delicious. I bet you taste it too. I can't resist it anymore. I need to taste you and fuck you into oblivion, Kitty. But your girlfriend; she's watching through the cracks of the bathroom door."

"Let her watch. Please. Lick me. Show me how really talented you are, Barbie."

"Yes. I'm between your legs, Kitty. Your clit, it's begging and aching for my touch and attention. I can see it."

"Lick me."

She does.

"Hmm. Kitty, love. See what you do to me? You got me all hungry and thirsty for you. You taste so good. So delicious. Like chocolate strawberries. I like the way you're moaning my name and begging for more. Tell me how much you like my lips on you."

"Oh God! Yes! Yes! Oh Barbie. I like your lips everywhere. Your touch burns."

"You sweet girl. So fucking wet. You're so warm and tight. You like my fingers in you. Clenching me so tight. I like how you're so weak while my thumb brushes against your aching clit. I think you like it as much as you like my lips against you and my tongue drawing circles inside your tight little cunt."

"Oh I do, Barbie. So much. Give me more."

"Always more. You juice is flowing Kitty-cat. I'm gonna taste you again."

"Yes!"

"So delicious baby. So good. Pinch your hard nipples and scream my name."

"Fuck. They're so hard! Ooooh!"

"Yes. Beg for more."

"Please. More."

"Feel my fingers pumping inside you. You're clenching again, baby girl. You're close aren't you?"

"Fuck. Yes!"

"Yes?"

"Yes!"

"Be a good girl and come in my mouth."

"I'm so close, Barbie! You're so good!"

"I can't get enough, Kitty. I like how you're pulling my hair and arching your back. Grind against my hand and on my mouth. Let my tongue and fingers fuck you."

"_I'm coming!" _

"_Yes. Come Kitty-cat. Come."  
><em>

_"Oh. My. God!"  
><em>  
>It was barely a whisper.<p>

When Piper looked into the green eyes across her, she noticed that look in them. That look she's familiarized herself with and takes so much pleasure out of having it being directed to her.

That look in her lovers' eyes, she'd know it in complete darkness and she was sure she was not hallucinating it.

Then Alex's cheeks reddened, her eyes clenched shut, her jaw tightened, her lips slightly parted, her breathing elevated in rough gasps. Her knuckles clenched over the phone as she dropped her head on the table.

_"Oh fuck. Oh!"_

It was the longest minute they've both ever experience just sitting across each other.

Afterwards, they both sat unmoved. The smallest sound of moaning escaped Alex's lips and Piper's mouth fell agape.

_"Did you just..."_

Alex held up a finger. Stopping Piper from having the slightest satisfaction of gloating about this very unexpected yet oh-so-fucking-unbelievable experience.

But really the blonde was just in shock and even fascinated.

_How?  
><em>  
>After a few seconds, it was all Piper could do not to burst out in hysterical laughter.<p>

"Hey," Piper bit the inside of her mouth, trying so hard to control herself. "Don't be embarrassed."

"I'm not embarrassed." Alex replied. And she wasn't. Yet, she still wouldn't look at Piper. "I just need a minute, because how the fuck did that just happen?"

When Alex finally looked back at Piper, the blonde just burst. She really tried holding in the laughter, but she no longer could. The blonde just never pictured Alex having a spontaneous orgasm. Her, maybe, but Alex, certainly not.

How that happened? That's a question they both wanted answered.

Alex rolled her eyes. "We're never, ever talking about this." She said. "Ever."

Piper shook her head, "Oh no, honey. Now, we're even." She said. "Whenever Nicky brings up my squirting experience, like let's say around the dinner table... I'll definitely have a story about that time you spontaneously orgasmed without stimulation in a coffee shop while having phone sex with me."

"I hate you."

"Still think I'm not sex operator material?"

888

_I don't know how that played out but I hope you guys enjoyed it! Leave your reviews and let me know what you thought of this little one-shot! Until next time!_


End file.
